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Candid conversations with Chris who defied the odds

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Where does one start with Chris Owens? Once 302 pounds, he put a renewed focus on his health, traveled across the country to take care of his ailing grandparents, got engaged, and now is working to get in the Army.

TAMAR:
I am so excited. I’m bringing you Chris Owens, another one of my David Goggins groupies. He and I met, but he is like the sweetest, coolest guy here. We’ll share his story, like his background, it’s really fascinating. I definitely it’s funny because Chris and I were supposed to podcast like six times, maybe more like two. But he’s had a lot of stuff going on in his life. So he’s going to share all of that. I hope I’m putting you on the spot here, but thank you so much for joining us.

Chris Owens:
I like it. I like I like getting thrown right into the lion’s den. It’s the only way to do it.

TAMAR:
That’s right. That’s right. Yeah. Yeah. So where are you physically in the world.

Chris Owens:
Physically in the world? So, depending upon where you want to start at, basically I’m just recovering from about 16 months ago now and November 4th, 2019, I had an almost fatal vehicular accident. Apparently what I was told was I had a seizure, but I don’t actually remember being told that, unfortunately. Nevertheless, I hit a semi truck on the highway fully loaded, and I’ve got pictures on Facebook and things like that, just a reminder and so forth.

Chris Owens:
But I at one point in time, like Goggins, I was 302 about six years ago, three hundred and two pounds. I had a micro lumbar discectomy. I was out of shape and just I started listening to David, a lot of the different motivational things like Admiral Craven, some different stuff, and just started trying to change my life and the impact of that semi, I’ll never forget it.

TAMAR:
Wow. Wow. So, so OK. So going back, where are you? You’re in the U.S., but where you’re like somewhere. I don’t know what time zone. What state?

Chris Owens:
Yes, ma’am, no, absolutely. I’m in Oregon. I’m in the Portland area more specifically, so Pacific.

TAMAR:
Cool. Cool. Awesome. Awesome. OK, so I don’t even, yeah, like I said, I have no idea where to start.

Chris Owens:
For sure. I can certainly go with it and take over with with whatever we need to do. So as far as my life goes, yeah. I had a real rough childhood growing up. I won’t go too much into it. But I was I was molested by my father. I was physically, emotionally abused by my stepfather, which is it’s made me a better man overall.

Chris Owens:
This made me a better father. If they were around, I would I would say thank you for doing a service and making me a better man. So that’s kind of part of my past. Where I’m at now though, is I’m in a much, much better place. I’ve I’ve forgiven the past and let go of so many issues that I held onto for so long and that stuff tears you down. You can’t do that. It’s poisonous.

TAMAR:
It is 100 percent. So you’re like a caretaker for your grandparents. Talk about that for a minute, because I think it is fascinating. That’s awesome.

Chris Owens:
Oh, thank you, ma’am. Yes, ma’am. If you go back to with me a little bit on about 30 May 2020, I left North Carolina, about the Fort Bragg area, and came out to see them, and long story short, found out how bad it was with them both having cancer and wanting to help out they needed it. So I just went ahead and said, OK, you know, you guys are OK with me coming and staying here, then more permanently, let’s do this. Thankfully, we went through a lot of chemotherapy, radiation therapy with my grandmother. She had a seven inch mass near her liver and her spine. She ended up becoming completely cancer free. So we had a lot of success in that area.

TAMAR:
So awesome. Awesome. And then you got engaged.

Chris Owens:
So I did. I did. Thanks so much for bringing that up. So kind. My girlfriend at the time proposed to me. She’s an amazing, amazing woman, the best woman I’ve ever met in my life and could ever imagine to meet. And then of course after that, after going, I’m “man, I can’t let this stand.” So I got her a ring and then I proposed to her so and she thankfully and happily said yes.

TAMAR:
So awesome. Awesome, so did you meet her in Portland or where did—did she follow you? Yeah.

Chris Owens:
It’s kind of another story too, actually. We went to high school in Oregon City, Oregon. She was a year behind me. And oddly enough, we don’t recall each other really at all. But we had the same and similar friends. I actually reached out to her on Facebook. I saw something about her and saw that she was from Oregon City High School and something just kind of sparked there when we started talking and one thing led to another. It was just a really, really amazing connection. Just, she’s absolutely my best friend. So it’s very cool.

TAMAR:
Yeah. Yeah. So were you in touch with her from when you were in North Carolina or was that more recently?

Chris Owens:
No, ma’am. That was actually while I was just being caretaking from my grandparents in my downtime. It’s very cathartic for me to write and to express myself in different ways. And one of my outlets happens to be, like I said in writing, and long story short, we just started kind of talking and one thing led to another and went from there and today, just feeling like the absolute luckiest guy on earth.

TAMAR:
Yeah. Wow. Congratulations. That’s awesome. That’s very cool. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So you said you were in Fort Bragg. [Chris Owens: Near there, yes ma’am.] I guess my question for you there… you weren’t in the military per se.

Chris Owens:
I have a military background but no ma’am, I was I never technically, I can neither confirm nor deny any involvement. What happened, though, the gist of it was I was set up to, I went through a junior ROTC, was set up to go through all ROTC army and actually had a daughter and have a beautiful twenty one year old daughter that just, just turned twenty one is going to college and I’m very proud of that.

TAMAR:
I thought you were 21. I’m very confused.

Chris Owens:
No, no ma’am. I am about to be 39 here in May.

TAMAR:
I would never know that. You carry yourself as, as this very mature twenty one year old.

Chris Owens:
Thank you so much. Hopefully that’s a very good thing.

TAMAR:
No that’s a compliment. Trust me, it’s a compliment.

Chris Owens:
Terrific. I like to have the energy of a twenty one year old for sure. But yes. So I apologize, getting back to it. Yeah I had, I went through a long, tough battle custody battle. My daughter’s mother was not fit to parent at all at the time. She attempted suicide in multiple ways, one of which was a particular manner with my daughter in the car.

Chris Owens:
And so I stopped all things. I was very successful in managing some stores and retail stores and doing different things like that. And I had to kind of really put everything on hold because I felt the need to as a single father, there aren’t enough out there and then not following the same path that my fatherly roles did for me. So it was very, very important to me to make sure that I got 100% custody of her, so unfortunately, that halted a lot of those plans. However, I made a lot of incredible people. I’ve served with a lot of phenomenal, phenomenal people, and I’m very proud of that.

TAMAR:
Awesome, awesome, wow, good for you and I guess you have a good relationship with her. Where is she physically?

Chris Owens:
My daughter physically actually is in Vancouver, Washington. She currently lives with her half sister and is doing super well. I’m so proud of her. She’s just working her tail. She’s grinding all the time and I’ll text her up and say, “hey, you know, I love you, I miss you.” And she’ll be like, “Dad, I’m busy” and I’m just like, “well you just keep grinding, keep doing your thing. I’m proud of you. So I just try and stay in touch with her as much as I can. She’s twenty one. She’s got to do her thing. She’s she’ll live her life too. I have to respect that.

TAMAR:
Yeah. Yeah. I mean yes. She’s technically an adult now. Yeah.

Chris Owens:
Yeah. That makes me feel a little more grey.

TAMAR:
Oh wow, my oldest is eleven and I’m a year older than you so I’m just thinking in my mind. Just that gap, it’s like you could be like the same age. [Chris Owens: Absolutely.] As you come on 40 and in your late 30s, you start to realize that there’s like very little gap between the 30 somethings and the 50s and a 60 somethings because mentally you’re all in the same place. And when it comes to the younger, when it comes to your children, and especially when I start to think twenties, it’s like the gap is narrowing mentally. It’s weird to explain.

Absolutely, it narrows and it expands at the same time. And it’s it’s a very complex and odd thing to witness, especially in different people. And if you really watch it, some people mature and everybody matures vastly different. It’s so crazy to see how people will blossom when they all blossom, because kind of like in the movie Moneyball is quoted something along the lines of I’m not going to get the right, but it’s one day we’re all told that we’re going to play this game, we’re going to end the children’s game, play the game as adult, whether or not that’s eighteen or that’s forty. But one day we’re all told that it’s kind of a cool quote. And to think along the lines of that, my daughter, I have ADHD and PTSD so I get a little off track, but with my daughter, it is pretty cool to know when and scary at the same time. As an adult and you reach that point of maturity or at least you think mental maturity, that your parents and you understand your parents are humans too, and that they that they fuck up. Pardon my language.

TAMAR:
Now, don’t pardon your language. This is a real, real podcast.

Chris Owens:
Yeah. Your parents, your parents fuck up. And and in all honesty, all parents are fuck ups lately, all none of us are perfect. So when they realize that, they go “shit! If this dude is human just as much as I am, then what the fuck does he have power over me?” So it’s kind of an empowering [thing], but it’s kind of scary, it’s it’s a real tricky double edged sword there. But that’s on how your perception [is]. So I just tend to think about a lot of the stuff like that. So but that’s a concern. And maybe some other things, too.

TAMAR:
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, I think I think it eventually all hits us. I think Facebook has also narrowed that gap as well, because when you start to realize that you’re posting in a forum, you don’t know the ages of people who are posting. But then you start realizing that some of the things older people say are so stupid. And then you click on their. You see that stupid post, and then you click on their face and they look like they’re eighty five. It’s not about that. We’re all eventually, we grow up and then we plateau, we all kind of do it. Everybody’s on the same plateau, some people with a higher intelligence than others. It’s really kind of fascinating.

Chris Owens:
It is fascinating to see, you’re one hundred percent accurate on point one hundred percent. think I posted something about actually Admiral William McCraven and a great video that he did a commencement speech, if I remember correctly, on an Oregon City high school alumni page. And I had a bunch of people liking it. I never posted on there before. But I figured hey if you’re an alumni, that’s where I went to high school. And let’s share some of this light. Let’s let’s illuminate the darkness where I can. And that’s one thing I like to do. I tend to feel unfortunately like it’s a mission of mine and it’s a soul crushing mission sometimes because you can really get hurt if you’re not careful. So you got a really toughen yourself. But nevertheless, I posted some and I had a bunch of haters hellbent on going, what is this of shit? It was funny because I had everybody back me up, I said something along the lines of, and don’t quote me on this, but it was like, “all I trying to do is like some light and make some positivity, at these dark days. And if you don’t like it, don’t read it.”

TAMAR:
Yeah, yeah, people don’t know that, people don’t think about that.

Chris Owens:
Their comments were going crazy. So it’s cool. It’s legit. So I never try. I don’t like when I hear stuff on podcasts and they were like “get off YouTube, get off that stuff.” Everybody’s got their thing. I get it. Don’t be addicted to it. Don’t get focused on that. I still grind all day long. I’m still working out and I’m still crushing it, I’m living life. But there’s certain stuff I go on. I want to chat, I want to talk with people, I want to help people out. So yeah. Like you’re doing like this is what you’re doing is awesome. I think it’s amazing.

TAMAR:
Yeah. And it’s hard and there are times it’s very uncomfortable. And there was a podcast that I did pretty recently that was just like. I don’t know if there’s a tie that I have is this I have to say, with one of my favorite self-care, because we really are having back and forth ribbing most people, it’s very difficult because a lot of people just want to start talking and talking and talking, and it’s no ability for me to interject and have a conversation, so I’m really I got to say, I’m extraordinarily thankful that we’re actually having that. So yeah.

Chris Owens:
Yeah, absolutely. I feel very comfortable. It’s rare that I don’t anymore, and I should correct myself on that. That’s my ego talking. There are a lot of times where I feel uncomfortable. But, you know what? It’s those times where you’re uncomfortable that you learn to grow. So you just do it. So not I think this is cool as hell and I’d be happy to ever if I was I was every reinvited back on I’d be honored. So it’s awesome. And I love to share with you so you can ask away anything you want to ask. I’m an open book.

TAMAR:
I’m going to keep tabs on you. Yeah, you were talking about how like people come and attack you on social. I haven’t spoken about this much, but I talk about like how I’ve been depressed and I was afraid of having, using my voice online. But part of that, I’ve been blogging and I’ve been in the social media world since before my friends really started owning computers.

TAMAR:
So I was able to build a thick skin in a very, very early age. When this whole covid crazy pandemic stuff happened, I decided to create a bunch of WhatsApp groups with my local community, people that I know face to face. And I I started coordinating, orchestrating food deliveries. [Chris Owens: Oh cool, good for you.] Yeah. Yeah. I’ve done more than one hundred and fifty so far. I can’t even keep track of it. It’s insane. It’s a very busy and I put on thirty pounds. I’ve lost most, most of it. But I think this week has been difficult for me mentally. But that being said, I coordinated all this food stuff and the thing is that no good deed goes unpunished and that really happens because you can never make everybody happy. And I’m starting to learn that. Steven Covey, he writes a book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, and he talks about, he has that one picture, that optical illusion, where you don’t know if you see a young woman or an old woman. [Chris Owens: Yeah, yeah.] I’m starting to understand the perspectives. People have different perspectives than me, and I’ve started to really embrace that and appreciate that. But in the beginning, I had to be extraordinarily diplomatic in ways that I think rubbed people the wrong way, but in other ways that really had people patting my back and saying thank you so much. I was honored at a recent community [event] for the county. So like, you know, people obviously are recognizing the efforts. But I had somebody come and she picked up some some orders from me earlier this week and she said, I can’t believe what kind of attacks, like how you’ve been subjected to so much abuse in this community. And I said, I can handle it, I can stomach it, I can deal with it. It doesn’t affect me at all. I judge a few people, but otherwise I’m just like it’s just business as usual. It’s casual for me.

Chris Owens:
Who doesn’t judge? Honestly, you know what? I honestly, truly believe and I don’t mean to interject or interrupting you. [TAMAR: Oh, no, not at all.] But I truly believe that. And this is, I’ll say this about me. This has nothing to do about just like Goggins says, nothing to do about the fact that I do cuss and I do talk differently. I do. I have a different communication ability and level skill set than a lot of other possess. I will speak formally. I will talk openly, it doesn’t matter. And it’s all it’s all about just your own. Obviously you handle it very, very well. And I want to give you some mass kudos for that. It takes a lot of balls. And whether or not that’s a label or, you know, I mean. [TAMAR: Yeah, yeah. All labels.] You’ve got the courage and you’ve gotta own that shit. You’ve obviously done that. I’ve been through a lot of depression. I’ve been through a lot of anxiety with PTSD, regular anxiety. Seeing my doctors PT doctors lately. They’re like, “bro, you got some mileage on you, dog.” And I’m like, “that’s right.” And I got plenty more to go. There’s a lot more fuel in this tank and this engine ain’t quitting. And so mad respect for you.

TAMAR:
Yeah, yeah. I mean, I’ve had a number of people specifically say to me, I’m so angry for you. I’m like, don’t worry, I got this. Like, but I’m glad that, you know, they’re observing that because at the end of the day, while I can handle it, it’s still human behavior. It’s not necessarily a reflection of me. It’s a reflection of whatever insecurities they have. [Chris Owens: Yeah] Whatever they want to look like that publicly by all means. Like I said, there are judgments that I have to make privately, because these people know that their inaction is action enough. But nonetheless.

Chris Owens:
100%. When you see somebody like with and I hate to be OK, so I’ll be real. I hate on the fact that I listen to Joe Rogan’s podcast. Right. I mean, I actually live with my ADHD, my PTSD, and I do smoke some pot. Unfortunately, that’s that’s one thing that helps the dichotomy in my life don’t sound.

TAMAR:
Don’t say unfortunately. It helps. It helps. I get it.

Chris Owens:
I’m in Oregon, it’s legal, and everything like that, unfortunately, is really frowned upon. And it’s got a negative connotation, which I really dislike. It pisses me off, actually. One thing that said in this said podcast, again, not quoting, but it’s basically like these dudes hate on, these guys, the haters that wake up and shake and bake and all this and then hate on him, on Joe Rogan for being in shape. But it’s like, you know what? I get the gist of that but I don’t like to be labeled like the uncommon thing. Don’t ever compare me to anybody. I am me. And so when we say judging, I think we all do that. We really do. We’re all going to have that prejudice. I don’t think it’s a bad thing. It’s a fight or flight instinct as well as some other things too psychologically and subconsciously maybe. I think that we are all looking at the next person that is coming by and we’re scanning, especially as that have got that warrior mentality and had been through different things that we had to stand up for those who can’t fight for the others or for themselves rather, and we’re all constantly got our head on a pivot. It’s always on a swivel. And so I don’t think that necessarily being prejudiced is a bad thing. I think that it can be. And making, kind of jokingly laugh, besides and say, “what is this girl wearing, pink tie dyed hair like do you have a job, fool?” You know, I think at the same time, you’re on to something, though, that’s a positive, that can be a life that can be illuminated into something that maybe if you’re looking at negatively, you’re saying “I’m being judgmental and I should not do that.” Maybe look at it as “OK. Maybe I’m just judging upon my safety and the safety of others.” [TAMAR: Yeah.] And if you look at the problem that you perceive and you can’t seem to figure it out, think of it instead of like a 2D image like maybe a 3D image. If you change the way you look at the problem, the problem will perceive differently, and so ultimately, the outcome will potentially, I would hope, ultimately come out differently. And you should be able to figure out your problem by looking at it from a different aspect.

TAMAR:
Yeah, the only judgment I’m really making, I really don’t judge. I’m going to be perfectly honest, I’m judging the assholes. I had I had some people who were kind of advocates for me in the beginning, the specific I’m actually thinking of a very specific group of people, two married people, and very advocate [of me] pushed the buttons in the right way, but kind of did it in a way that was supportive of me. And when I finally asked for the true support versus, you know, like give a long story short, when I helped the community, he’s like, you should collect tips for yourself because you’ve given so much of yourself, so I’m like “I don’t want to collect tips. I want you to support my perfume venture when I launch it,” because the Common Scents podcast comes from my perfume venture. Perfume took me out of depression. It was a whole mindset shift. And I said, “OK, when when I finally launch my perfume, I want these people to show up.” So I reached out to him, and I said hey, I launched my perfume brand, would love your support.” “Oh, I don’t do that.”

Chris Owens:
Oh hell no.

TAMAR:
Yup, yup, yup.

Chris Owens:
You have this this amazing gold. It’s not only cathartic, but it’s helpful. It’s profitable. Like is win win, win, win win and yeah, and dude’s like “I support you” and but then in the end once you say, “Yeah yeah, he dropped out?”

TAMAR:
It was all talk and inaction. He’s a local guy. In due time, I don’t know, I’m not really sure where I’m going with it, but he has been consistently invisible since and I think part of it is because I think he knows. I think his challenge is is “I don’t do that. But I don’t also support a campaign, like a pre launch of a product.” But now the physical product is out so there’s nothing to [hold back]. It was a crowdfunding campaign in the beginning. Now the product is here. So he can’t say “I’m not supporting something that’s like real.” I’m looking at it right now.

Chris Owens:
But it is maybe not something tangible and physical, right there, but OK, so this is a person has had your back, you said?

TAMAR:
He had my back in the beginning, but it was I think it was just all he was very busy with him [Chris Owens: For sure] with him trying to push my buttons in a way that, it was polarizing in the beginning because I took his advice. It was a long story. Whatever.

Chris Owens:
If I got you. What I was going to say, if I may, is a lot of times people are and it may not be the case in this case, but a lot of times to try and look at it positively, because I always try and do that, I always try. And no matter what, whether it’s raining and right now it’s crap outside in Oregon. It’s not all that warm, but I’ve been through worse and the sun is out there and it’s shining. So maybe this person like you was in there and gave you an idea to bounce off the spark, an idea. And that was all you needed. Unfortunately, yeah, the haters and the assholes, the flakes, they’re all going to be out there, but they’re going to be out there seeing people like you that are shiny and they’re going to try and take some of that light. And when they know they can’t take that light anymore or you won’t give them that light because they haven’t earned it, then they’re going to walk away potentially. [TAMAR: Yeah.] That might be just temporarily but that might be something that you need to have and then walk away kind of thing.

TAMAR:
So, you know, that’s an interesting parallel because the launch of my brand is the launch of my perfume. The discovery that perfume would save my life actually came from: I’ve had four children, but then I had postpartum depression, and during my postpartum depression, I was exploited by an individual who really needed me and I got a high. I got a massive emotional high by helping this individual navigate things like sex, drugs, jobs, every type, suicide, you name it all the big life problems like this person was a glut for drama so I dealt with all of these things and I helped them navigate them in a way that I think was very professional. But in a way, I was I was suffering. And in another way, I loved this. I totally clung to it. When you when your life sucks, the drama kind of makes it exciting, but then it just makes you just like, “why is this person always attracted to drama?” So I didn’t need to be. I could have just been somebody who was regularly like a fly on the wall. But this was a way that made me feel good. But then, when you’re—it’s hard to explain—when you’re so emotionally, I guess, spread so thin and like when you’re exploited in such a way eventually, especially when you’re already vulnerable and you’re already weakening in your suffering from a depression, in a way, eventually you’re not going to be able to, you’re not going to be—I would I was not emotionally strong at the at the end of this relationship than I was in the beginning of the relationship because I had been exploited. So…

Chris Owens:
So you get weakened.

TAMAR:
Yeah. And and eventually, I was completely, I was dropped like very violently. I was basically thrown into the freakin center of this well that I was already trying to climb out of, fell into my rock bottom. It destroyed me. I’m still thinking, I think about it every single day. I think about it. And this is three years ago. Yeah. So it’s totally the same thing but it’s not the same thing because it’s just one guy. This one guy.

Chris Owens:
What you want, in my humble opinion, would be some of the hardest things in life to do or change. None of us think change. Change is a challenge. We all want to sit in our comfy, La-Z-Boys and be and live in our comfort bubble. And unfortunately, success lies outside of the comfort zone. And that’s the only way that you’re also going to grow or die and all that good stuff. But I think in having personally been cheated on in almost every single one of my relationships, unfortunately, or they just they just ended in an informal fashion from somewhere, Anyway, I won’t go into that. But again, when I talk to my grandfather about something, it almost takes heed to this. I think he was really angry at a lot of things, he had a lot of pent up anger. And I didn’t know what it was from. And I know that a lot was from growing up, etc..

Chris Owens:
Anyway, you got to learn, first of all, you’ve got to forgive yourself. You obviously didn’t do anything wrong. You took this on headstrong to try and help this person out and for so long. A relationship is transactional. Unfortunately, to put it truly, there are ways to give and take. But the transaction isn’t always to give and take. It can be a give and give and give or take, take, take. And unfortunately, with your exploit there, you’re going to have to try to find that way to go ahead and forgive yourself if you haven’t already.

And if you haven’t do it, do it now. Just be like, “you know what? I’m over this.” You got a life to live. You gotta, right now there’s eight four eighty six thousand four hundred seconds in a day. Just choose one second and change that.

TAMAR:
I love that. I love that. You start to realize that especially when you’re working out and they’re like, you can do anything for sixty seconds. I’m not sure about that, especially when I’m pushing myself to my hardest. But it’s nice to know that you could break it into even smaller chunks of seconds versus 60 seconds instead of it. So I like that a lot.

Chris Owens:
Yeah. When you’re in the gym to the build muscle, you’ve got to break it. It’s got to rebuild, sort of just like your heart, your soul, sometimes, not sometimes, in life, you’ve got to rebuild. And it’s not a question of when, it’s a question of how many times and all of that stuff. So, you got this. You can do this. I’ll support you 100%, you want to join me on Facebook. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I got you.

TAMAR:
Yeah, I like you. I like you. You’re good. You’re definitely a very enjoyable guest. And I just think you’re just like I mean, you’re incredible person. I mean, coming out, taking care of your grandparents. Let me ask you a question. Are these is this your maternal grandparents or your paternal grandparents?

Chris Owens:
They’re my maternal grandparents. And actually technically it is my maternal grandfather and then he is remarried. So if they were technically terms, it would be my step grandmother, but I would never call anyone this close family at all like that, let alone if I’m lucky enough to be able to continue down my path and have my fiancée’s children become my children, they’ll never be called my stepchildren ever. However, she is my step grandmother, but yes.

TAMAR:
Wow, that’s so beautiful. Like I said, when I said the sweetest guy, I reserve that especially admitting that publicly on the podcast. We’ve been talking on and off for the last few weeks with the struggles that you’re kind of dealing with, the fact that you’ve relocated in a way, the fact that you’re talking to me with potentially a broken rib, which we haven’t talked about yet and that you wanted to show up. So talk about that for a minute.

Chris Owens:
I’m not entirely sure. About three days ago now, right over my left pectoral muscle, I have a scar from a collapsed lung during a car accident near there. I don’t know if a pectoral muscle or tendon has torn, if I got a fractured rib or a broken rib. It is not comfortable at all. It’s getting worse. But long story short, my fiancée does work for a hospital. I’ll go further into that because of all those things, but, we’re looking into, if it continues to get any worse and I go, all right, it’s time. I don’t like to tap out. I’ll go. I’d go until the bell rings and I’ll keep going. I listen to her and she knows what’s up. So I’m just watching it and making sure she’s updated. In fact, she texted me while we’re talking and I said, “oh, I’m good.”

TAMAR:
Yeah, yeah. Wow. All right. I think this is this is a good foray into your—we’re talking we’re over, usually I have like this structure, part one, part two, part three, but we’re like this going all over the place. I think this really kind of talks to the David Goggins philosophy where you’ve listened to him and you listen to the Joe Rogan podcast, which, by the way, I have #lifegoals, is to get on his podcast to figure it out.

TAMAR:
Yeah, yeah.

Chris Owens:
If you get on there. And, you don’t invite me, I will…

TAMAR:
We should go on together.

Chris Owens:
I totally got your back to get on Joe Rogan. [?]

TAMAR:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The fact that he’s able to, like Goggins, I read his book. I didn’t actually I don’t like I’m not very good with the function of listening. It’s always been my weakest point, which sucks because if there’s one thing I want to develop in my life outside of the physical, it’s the mental and the ability to listen in a way that I can do an empathically and also just because I suck—.

Chris Owens:
I’ll be real with you. Honestly, I love truly helping people out that. I know that you’re much more professional than I am in that area. However, if I ever came down to wherever you wanted to find out, I’m also thoroughly, I proudly own determined that term “nerd” or “geek.” [TAMAR: Me too!] I have been my entire life. And if you need help with anything like that, feel free to hit me up.

TAMAR:
I got to figure it out. Yeah. Yeah. With what you were saying with your 3s, 33k. I got that. I got it. I know what 31337 means. I majored in computer science and I was in that hacker audience back in the day when probably, you were pretty much the same age, back when you were when you were in diapers and I was, I was just toddling around, but yeah, so yeah. So actually you probably, you might have. I potty trained late in life. You probably wouldn’t have been in diapers. I probably would’ve been toddling [in diapers]. You probably would have been in diapers.

Chris Owens:
You’re saying I wet my bed all the time? What are you saying?

TAMAR:
I was, I was going to say: the podcast, going to David Goggins. I read the book and he talks about in a chapter of his book that he ran a marathon on broken legs. So like I said, you’re toiling on, I think there’s a good foray into, like, what you do to keep yourself on on your feet. I see your picture right now on Skype where we’re using Skype and like you got this this tank top and you got these chiseled shoulder. I can’t see too much, but you evidently invest in that so talk about like what you do and how you, talk about your self-care and then talk about like the David Goggins routine for you,

Chris Owens:
For sure. Oh, so am by no means would I ever claim to ever be on the same even metaphorical playing field as him. But the mindset I certainly love it and I empower myself, and I challenge myself every day to live that. Doctors asked me recently during PT because I also had an MRI done this last week because I very possibly have some bicep injury as well as a rotator cuff slight tear on my right shoulder, yes, so I’m a little beat up. It’s all outlook. You’ve gotta keep that sunny sided.

Chris Owens:
So with trying to do that, and trying to say you gotta block out the pain or and had a micro lumbar discectomy like me like me. So the surgery on my L4-L5 which I didn’t want but I needed apparently. And they wanted me to do surgery on my neck. I’m like, no, I’m not going to do that. You got tennis elbow or tendonitis. You need surgery on this. No. This MRI, they’re probably going to want to do surgery. No. I can handle this. I can do this.

TAMAR:
Oh, I like surgery. I would take the surgery.

Chris Owens:
No. Once I had a meniscus tear, had to repair them. And the anesthesia wore off too early and I woke up just in excruciating pain.

TAMAR:
Oh, wow. All right. They gotta give you more.

Chris Owens:
So I was a little aggressive with the nurses, I won’t lie. But I’m sure they were understanding. Actually I’m looking at, truth be told, I am looking at enlisting in the Air Force just mainly because of my age background of what I wanted to do with military and where I was going to go on my path and looking and doing some special warfare stuff, but I don’t know my surgeries will allow me to do special warfare, so I’m going to go off to see what the man allows me to do for less. And the Air Force is the lesser of the jobs but top of my mind, the mindset, I’m going to be 39 in May and as long as you’re in and as long as you pas before you’re 40 years old. Then you’re good to go.

TAMAR:
Yeah, yeah. I just hit that. So I’m not. It’s a little devastating reality there.

Chris Owens:
It does, it is kind of a suck, it really is, but I’m going to shoot for it, because, you know what? I always wanted to do it. I’m going to shoot for special warfare anyway. Whether or not they deny me, they can deny me all they want, but I’ll keep going.

TAMAR:
I think we need to keep our eye on you because like and you need to be like, I don’t know how or where, but you need to figure out how you can talk to Goggins. You’re evidently in the group, but you got to like be with him, podcast with him, talk to him, because I think you’re just you’re doing you’re following that trajectory. He had to push and do things, being in the SEALs. He wasn’t initially part of whatever, Badwater, he wanted to get in things that he couldn’t get accepted to. You’re doing the same thing.

Chris Owens:
100%. The world’s not going to tell me what I can’t do.

TAMAR:
Right. I love that. I love that attitude. Yeah. So when you talked about you’re not in the same metaphysical plane as him and then you talked about earlier in the podcast that, and you kind of were apologetic, “that people are against pot, but I’ve tried, I need it for my ADHD.” I start to recognize that nobody is freaking, no one’s on the same plane ever anywhere. I think we need to be a little more sympathetic and realistic about our realities. I love the mindset. I love the David Goggins approach of just pushing through. But I said it in past podcasts, that there are so many people that are dealing with the same, everybody is dealing with the same—

Chris Owens:
Everybody’s dealing with shit. Everybody.

TAMAR:
Yeah the same shit but not everybody can be David Goggins. I would like to think that, I think he’s insane. It’s incredible. He’s inspirational. He’s insane.

Chris Owens:
Yes, he is. You’re absolutely 100% right. My catharsis is writing and I’m happy to be a friend on Facebook so you can see the posts. More than that, I say honorably and courageously, I don’t care, I don’t give a fuck who thinks of anything. I write poetry and I do a lot of writing. And it’s really cathartic. I’m not unintellectual. I’m happy to share some of that so.

TAMAR:
Yeah, yeah, and you’ve got to figure out how to make it public for the listeners because there’s going to be that necessity evidently.

Chris Owens:
That would be awesome. I’m super looking forward to that.

TAMAR:
Yeah. Yeah. But, you know, the thing is, he’s insane. And the thing is that I don’t think everybody can do what he can do. I’m sorry. The way he writes his book in the way he like he’s talked about it. Obviously, it’s not for everybody. But he talks about how I was able to run a marathon on broken legs. Not everybody can do that. I’m sorry. So then when we go back to the whole pot thing and the fact that there is bad reception and pot has a bad rap, that’s not necessarily a reflection of everybody entire experience with pot. For me personally, I don’t think it does very much, but for other people, it helps them substantially. Everybody is fucking different. Deal with it. I’m trying to I’m trying to make this full circle because I think it’s very important. There was another thing. There’s a book that came out recently, How to Change Your Life by Michael Pollan, maybe three or four years ago. I read it. It’s about micro dosing in the LSD, shrooms, and everything world. I haven’t admitted this publicly, but right after that book, I tried to pursue that. And I did it. The book makes it seem like it’s for like people who are dealing with devastating cancer diagnoses or dealt with the reality that their life is falling apart in a way. They have this trip on shrooms, usually it’s moderated, if you will. It’s managed by a provider who makes sure you don’t like all of a sudden jump out from the top of a building. I think it could be a shaman, it could also be like a therapist. They’re talking about how they wanted to be FDA approved. And I ended up doing a trip right before covid, before covid, not right before. I tried to experience it also under the moderation of somebody just to see what it could do. Because at that point I was trying to find myself. I did pot, similar[ly], medical marijuana, rather, for the same [reason]. My psychiatrist prescribed it pretty much for the same reasons. I didn’t think that helped me. I had to take so much and eventually I just found, you’re stoned. That’s why they say “you’re stoned.” I couldn’t have my kids come in, with me putting my hands up like a cloud.

Chris Owens:
There’s some point in time when you start giggling at something and you’re like oh man.

TAMAR:
I wasn’t giggling. I started writing and blogging, like I would write at that time and just to see how I did. But I just didn’t care about anything. I wanted to correct my mistakes and I was like “I don’t wanna go back.” It was a weird dynamic. But anyway, going back to this whole shrooms thing, it was sort of the same thing. She started me and I didn’t really feel like much effects. Maybe things come to me late, like with pot, I had to go really go big or go home and I went big and I didn’t like it. And when I did nothing, it didn’t do anything. So shrooms, the first two milligrams, nothing happened. And I’m like, I’m not feeling anything. Instead of, like, giving me, like a little more, she upped me to five and and I was sitting there and she’s like doing her thing. And eventually, you’re dying if you will, like you’re regurgitating your stomach, whatever’s in there, and it was not, I didn’t feel like that trip was very valuable for me, which is totally contrary to the book’s presentation of how this can change your life. It didn’t give me any extra clarity because I think I’ve been in a soul searching mission for the last year prior to that or even more than that at that point. The interesting thing for me is that it was so deep, that trip was so extensive that typically they say it’ll wear off after seven hours. She was there for 12 and it hadn’t worn off yet, and was like “I have to go home!”

Chris Owens:
The least you can do is look as it as, “if I did, I won or I learned. I didn’t lose. If I did. If I failed, I’ll fail better next time,” that type of thing. You had a learning experience. You went through something. You went through life experience. So that is the story to tell. It’s a memory to have made whole. Yeah. You won’t do it again. So that’s a negative trigger warning in your head going, no, don’t touch that, because I don’t like that effact.

TAMAR:
Right. It’s hard to say. It’s hard to say because it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It was literally the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It’s hard to explain that, like, you just took drugs and you were like sitting there and that’s really the truth. But like, mentally, it’s the slowest. For me, it was twenty six hours. Twenty six hours. Eventually, I had to wait till some of it passed and then I could sort of sleep through the night, but I had to take the day off the next day. But the seven, the twelve hours of that experience, I couldn’t, it’s hard to explain because ten minutes is literally feels like three hours. It’s weird. It’s weird. I don’t know. But yeah.

Chris Owens:
You know what? It’s A: good on you and matters of respect, for A, admitting openly and publicly, that it takes a lot of fucking courage, so seriously, good job on that. And B, like you said, you tried it out and you learned to find something and then it would be you naturally type of thing, some that would work for you and it didn’t work. It’s like Edison and lightbulbs. It takes a thousand trials and a thousand fails, but it just takes the one time to get it right. And that’s where [Mayan?] came in with, they’re lying to of course be in Oregon, to be a little stricter, things like that, so many pain seeking people who are going to ruin it for people who are in pain. So potentially it’s going to screw up with my ADHD medications because they’re not possibly prescribing. So I’m kind of, it’s always a constant juggle, there’s always chaos, there’s always fog and noise, and you’ve just got to try and do your best to filter out the noise and say it’s all just bullshit. [TAMAR: Yeah.] And I got to focus on: what do I need to focus on? First, it’s me, I can’t do anything and help anybody else, which is my life’s mission, is to help other people, and to be successful and many other things. But the joy that I bring to it, that it brings to me is helping other people and reaching out. To do that, I’ve gotta be 100%. I can’t do that and try to give 80% advice to someone advice who needs 100% advice. That’s not fair. That should be criminal.

TAMAR:
Yeah, 100%, yeah. For me, the reality is that we just need to be mindful of the fact that everybody experiences the realities differently. And, you know, you’ve got you got this David Goggins superhuman. You have the pot. Like, let’s just accept the fact that we’re all different. Try to become, we could try to be David Goggins. I’ve been working out since every single day since December 24, 2018. I see people who started like three months ago who all of a sudden (and maybe it’s because my biological whatever my age at this point and my genetics), but people who started three months ago are doing better than me and I started freakin two years ago and change. It’s just like we’re all, just embraces the differences. Just push yourself and do the best you can.

Chris Owens:
But look at it two ways for sure: the way you look at understanding the biological, or the physical aspects and DNA that we do have different body structures and different DN—we’re all different, but that doesn’t mean, that’s kind of mindset of the Goggins kind of a theory, right? It is just being uncommon. Whether you’re not, I’m not 100% at all the peak where I want to be. I want to be 6’2″ and I’m at I think 245.2 as of this morning. I’d love to be something like 202. I want to get back my 8 pack abs and working on stuff nonstop. My age and different things like that, I’ll get it done, but I can get you to think of it. Jim Rohn your best is all you can do. You can’t give more than your best. If you give your best 100% of the time, do it like nobody’s watching. Every single time and thinking that, honestly, I’m going to do the right thing. I do it the right way always, because nobody’s watching, and know that there’s always someone watching.

TAMAR:
Yeah. Yeah.

Chris Owens:
You’re obviously doing well, and I think, you definitely need to not believe any negative stuff [TAMAR: I’m not hard on myself.], keep on the positive track that you’re on, because you sound like you’re doing phenomenal.

TAMAR:
I mean, listen, I’m showing up, and the bottom line is I’m not going to be able to do what I’m doing at 40 that I used to do at 21. I don’t know if it’s even again, I don’t know if it’s an issue of age. The regret is potentially that I didn’t start earlier, but at the same time I needed to start now. As long as I’m doing it, I’m feeling good about doing it. It may be the the results aren’t as visible. And sometimes I do fall off the path a little bit. This week has been, like I said, I usually eat better, this week has been a little more difficult. Sometimes mentally I’m totally in the game and sometimes mentally I’m just the opposite. And that’s OK. You know, I have to be OK. I have to be consistently.

Chris Owens:
It’s OK to be OK, 100%. [TAMAR: Yeah.] I won’t lie, I’ve got two days like my fiancée, there’s the smart cheddar popcorn called Smart Food and she calls the dumb food because I eat it because I love it. And when I’ll have some of it, she’s like, “you’re eating your dumb food again, it’s not your cheat day.” And I’m like, I put the bag, know a couple of bites. We’ve all got our vices. We’ve all got our we’re all we are all uncommon in that way. if a unicorn is uncommon, like be the unicorn of unicorns kind of thing. Rise above. Be that 1% always, at least in your mind because your mind is there, then you’re going to be happy. You’re going to be healthy. You’re going to be successful. Whether or not that’s now or that’s just building it. Progress is motion. Motion creates a motion. Keep moving forward like it’s it’s all good. So you sound like you’re doing phenomenal. You just seem to stay on track and not get you can’t let the haters and all the bullshit noise fucking cause confusion. Don’t let that happen.

TAMAR:
Oh 100%. I’m mentally I’m in a perfectly, like I said, thick-skinned. I just keep doing it. The only person who sees what I’m doing is basically me. I kind of think to myself, because there was a point in my life where I didn’t want to really live. Not like I had ideations or anything, but I definitely didn’t like, I didn’t like myself. And now knowing that I wake up the way I live, the way I go to bed, I would say if other people were watching, which they’re not and that’s OK with it, they would be jealous of me. I don’t need to say anything else. I’m proving it to myself and that’s it. It’s all internal. But at the same time, I’m like, you know, obviously she’s doing exactly what she needs to be doing. She’s doing the right thing. I wish I could be doing things like that.

Chris Owens:
Rose silently and then shine brightly.

TAMAR:
Exactly. I like that. Yeah. Cool. All right. So we talked about a lot of things and I totally said I enjoy this. We kind of touched upon things in a way that we totally were meant to do. But at the same time. [Chris Owens: No, for sure.] Let me let me ask you a question. I mean, you talked about sort of like self-care. What do you what what kind of like fitness, regimen? What’s that look like for you?

Chris Owens:
Oh, yeah. So, yes, I apologize. You did ask that. Yeah, mainly my fitness regiment: as I’m on the ranch, like my grandparents own ten acres out in Oregon City. We’ve got horses and different animals, just a few getting stuff cleaned up for potential, when end of life does come and there’s a lot of stuff to move around. So I’m physically just putting in the grind, moving, just hardened steel and farm products and stuff that’s old from welding and it’s just got a lot of weight to it. So that’s my atypical day, just moving stuff around, like just on a mule. But my kind of workout routine typically is every single day I go to bed, typically between around 11:00 pm and 12:00. So I try. It’s hard with ADHD and falling asleep, usually up between 4:30 and 4:45 automatically every morning. That became habit over time. Just set the alarm clock a little earlier and earlier and get in the habit of not hitting snooze. My workout though atypically is I push out pushups until I can’t stop. I kind of go by the Arnold idea like I don’t really count, I just go until like I hurt and I do it every single day. I don’t take days off. And that might be what something that that hurts me and I’ll learn from that mistake. If that’s the case, I’ll make the correction and I’ll recalibrate and I’ll re-execute. But going into doing similar sit ups, wall stands. Most of my workout traditionally is things that I can do in the home because of covid. And so I will walk, jog because of my knees and my back and getting back into running. But that is that’s a progress where I make, or I should say that’s an area I’m making progress on. That’s where I’m going to start shredding that the last few weight that I want to get, I think. But other than that, a lot of the military style PT stuff that I’ve gone through, I would, PT regiments, if that kind of describes at least a little bit, I know we’re kind of short on time, so I don’t want to go into every single thing, but atypically it’s that. My diet is very clean compared to what used to be when I was 302 pounds, I would drink two liters of soda a day. I was eating, I was eating cereal, I was eating Cinnamon Toast Crunch a day. I could down a box in a day. It was a joke. That was after my recovering from my surgery, my back surgery and being on pain meds. So I don’t take that stuff when, when I don’t absolutely need to. And I really tried to really never need to. And if I do, I try not to. But the healthy regiment is taking out sugars. I don’t drink soda or pop or wherever you want to call it, wherever you’re at in the world. I cut that out completely. That was very, very difficult. And having had a past of migraines and I still do that created a lot of those. But I said, you know what, I need to do this. It’s like quitting smoking, I guess for smokers. It’s shitty, but I need to go through the suck. Just fuck it, eat it. Let’s do this. And I just do it. I tend to be a glutton for punishment myself. I swallow my pain and then I use my pain no matter what it is from my past or it’s something that’s going on currently that drives me. So to fuel the change, like the change agents in the diet, it was more like, I don’t want to eat turkey bacon. I love my pork bacon. I don’t want to cut down. I want to go to light mayonnaise. I like mayonnaise, but no, fuck that. This is what needs to be done, okay, so done.

TAMAR:
Yeah, ricotta cheese, I can’t I can’t sacrifice that one. That’s what you can never go light. You have to go with the full. Yeah. So first of all, I want to say that I do also try to show up every single day. I’ve never missed a workout, if you will, and especially for the last three hundred and sixty five days. Well, starting January 1st, 2020, I’m in a group that is an accountability group and basically it’s two hundred fifty workouts in the in the year 2020 and this year. I basically didn’t miss a day but sometimes, a minimum workout is like a 20 minute walk and that’s fine with me. I told myself in 2021 I was going to break a sweat. It’s really important to break a sweat but I think just really doing it every single day. I think eventually it does catch up with you. I think it was Sunday, I couldn’t move and I like but I had walked. It wasn’t even like a big walk. I walk like three miles on Saturday and Sunday morning, I walk two, two and a half miles, and for some reason I just couldn’t move or do anything. I was packaging. I was sort of a mule, but not really, packaging some stuff for members of the community, again, to coordinate some food delivery. And it was just like five feet of walking that’s putting a little chocolate bar, like a chocolate 3.5oz chocolate bar in a box. I couldn’t do something. I think eventually it does catch up with you, but it catches up with you, like you could consistently do it. It’s bad advice. Nobody should take my advice. I want like an audio, I need visual…

Chris Owens:
We don’t condone said previous advice, by the way, just for the licenses and affiliation privileges of this podcast.

kids: don’t try this at home, but, you know. Yeah. So it was just that was there’s one exception. And then, like, I usually go to bed like 2:00, 3:00 in the morning, I had said I go to bed at ten, a quarter eleven. And then I woke up like at eight, which was give them enough time. But like, all of a sudden I felt better and I was like, wow, well, like the difference. I don’t know what happened because I’m so not like that mentally. I’m never like that. And yet the experience was insane, so I would say keep doing what you’re doing, but be mindful and let your body respond. Your body will tell you. You just wait to the cues of your body at the end of day. So cool, all right. I got one last question for you before I ask how to follow you, how people should follow you, but the last question that I would ask is if you can give an earlier version of Chris some advice, what would you tell him?

Chris Owens:
To make sure the answer the answer correctly, if I was an earlier version of me?

TAMAR:
It could be yesterday. It could be when you were twelve. I don’t care.

Chris Owens:
Like telling an earlier version, “hey go do this?”

TAMAR:
Don’t overthink it at all.

Chris Owens:
If it were me telling a 10, 21 year old version of me, the best version of me would be never ever quit.

TAMAR:
Yeah. Okay.

Chris Owens:
No matter what it is, never quit.

TAMAR:
I love it. Yeah. Yeah. That’s what I was looking for. Perfect. You gave me a perfect answer. It’s always helpful to get the ones that are identifiable by most people. So that was good too, and you don’t even take too long to think about it. Some people think about it and they give me, like, 25 seconds later, “oh, this is a hard question.” So I mean it. I love it. I love the reaction. My editor gets out the gaps, he always edit and it’s the gaps. For my editors reference, and by the way, he doesn’t have to edit out this time around. You don’t have to edit it out in the future.

Chris Owens:
I do have one comment toward your challenge of your workout. I, too, am in one of my groups called Modern Era Warriors and am looking into getting into one of them here, Krav Maga, looking into getting one in Portland. [TAMAR: Of course I know that. It has Israeli roots, I’ve wanted to get my kids to do it actually.] It’s phenomenal. You should get your kids into it. So I floated the idea to my daughter, but she didn’t bring with her friend, so she was with dad at the time, she didn’t like it, but regardless. Modern Era Warriors if I can speak, few of us are doing a couple of us or more, but few of us that do it every single day and always post their own day, I believe 80 to 100 or so.

TAMAR:
Sweet, yeah. Cool. All right, all right, yeah. Tell me where where people can find you and you might have a website or something. I don’t know, because we met on Facebook and usually this is an unconventional thing, where can people find you, contact you. I’ll link to it for sure in the show notes. But curious.

Chris Owens:
Yeah, 100% you know, I want to say if you bear with me one moment, I wasn’t quite 100% prepared for that question. But give me one second here. You should be able to just honestly, facebook.com/public/chris-owens under Chris C Owens and the middle initial is Charles. My call center is Wildcard. Update: It is at this link.

TAMAR:
So, OK, I think I see it there. Yeah, it’s it’s a different, you actually do not even have from what I see, you don’t have a, you don’t have a an actual username, so if you go Facebook dot com slash like you could set it to WildCard which you won’t be able to because that’s the thing I created.

Chris Owens:
It’s definitely more to change and play around in some point in time. So, appreciate that.

TAMAR:
Yeah. Awesome, sweet, cool. I will definitely link to it at well because I don’t know the URL and I can’t figure it out.

Chris Owens:
Well, thank you so much for taking the time to talk and everything and thank you for your patience with dealing with my chaos and everything like that. I am very grateful and I’m very honored to be part of this. And I appreciate it.

TAMAR:
Yeah. Yeah. Thank you so much for participating. This is a really fun conversation. And again, there’s so many things that I would elaborate on more. But eventually now at this point, I get to pick up my kids from school. You know, it’s a quiet day until they come home.

Chris Owens:
Yeah, we’ll see if we can link up later on for sure and we’ll see if we can do something else.

TAMAR:
All right. Cool. We’ll be in touch. Thank you so much, Chris. Thank you so much. All right. You too. All right. [Chris Owens: Go own it up, go kill it.] You too.

Chris Owens:
Thank you, bye.

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TAMAR.